*Please note that the pictures taken are originals by me (do not judge my photography abilities please) of my actual copies, unless otherwise noted. Any imperfections of the cover are due to my own carelessness, that they are second-hand, or lent to me by a friend. Thank you kindly.
A few weeks after I knew I was spiralling out of control a dear friend of mine, ND, said I have a book you need to read. She said she has read it many times and recommends it to anyone having anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. When I told her my situation, I knew she would understand being that I knew she struggled with anxiety as well. This book was a quick read and one in which if it was my personal copy would be written and highlighted all through it. She did buy me a journal, so I used that to write all my notes in. I can tell this book has been read many times and is well-loved!
I liked the premise of this book; however, it wouldn't have been one that I would've chose to read first. The author talks about six activities that you should do in the morning before doing anything else. With kids and a husband who is out-of-town frequently, I need to be more flexible. Yes, I could get up an hour earlier like the author suggests, but with my poor sleeping habits (...still *sigh*), I feel I usually need that extra hour. However, I typically do about 4-6 of the ideas daily, just not in a specific order or time. It does help that after my kids are at school, I have the day to contemplate my future and to literally work on myself. The house is quiet, and I can truly focus. Attention and focus are typically daily obstacles for me, especially when my anxiety and panic is at its worst. The Miracle Morning (at least doing the mediation portion) is something I would like to do before I do anything else upon waking it. Like most new habits, it's easier said than done.
Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené BrownAbout a month after starting therapy, my therapist (who is amazing BTW) suggested I read this book. She lent me her copy; I quickly realized that I needed my own copy. This book has been underlined and highlighted all through it with my personal notes in the margins. There were a few parts that were particularly powerful and meaningful to me. I also read this book after my new meds had kicked in and I was completely off my old meds, which definitely help me embrace her message with a level head (literally).
The author talks about ten "guideposts." Guidepost #1 was especially powerful to me. It is called "Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think." It made me realize A LOT about myself and saddened me as to the person I had become. I will likely talk more about this in a future post.
BTW, I have ordered another one of Brené Brown's books, which I haven't read yet.
OMG I laughed and I cried. An uplifting, light book that I read before bed or when I only had a few minutes. Honestly, there were parts that were so relatable I thought she could be my new BFF (sorry to my actual BFF...nothing against you...I am sure you'd love her too). A friend lent me this book about a week after my initial crash into the spiral abyss (does that even make sense?). I was at her house bawling over my constant and intense anxiety and panic attacks. She has a beautiful book collection, so I asked her if she had a "feel good" book she could suggest. This was the one she gave me and wow, it was perfect! Thank you LI 💛 It honestly helped me understand that I truly am not alone...despite several people telling me this, including my therapist...but having a published author (and BTW this book is on several recommended booklists) write about this, somehow made it more relatable.
I was at my BFF's house a few weeks ago looking at a few books she has. She's notorious for reading self-help books, so she's read (or I should say listened too as she enjoys audio books) MANY of the books I have been reading. This one was on her shelf. I flipped through it and saw it would be a quick read. While much of it would've been extremely helpful to my 20-something self, there were some things I was able to take from it for my current self.
My therapist (have I mentioned how amazing she is yet?!) suggested I get this book. We are currently working through this together, taking it chapter by chapter, and not moving any faster than my brain and body can handle. It is a workbook, so I have to do this when I am alone and able to fully focus (usually when my kids are at school and husband working). Funny enough, when my therapist recommended this book to me, that same friend that lent me the first book on this list, lent me this copy too. However, since it is a workbook, I ordered my own copy as it will be one I refer to throughout my life when anxiety and panic hit me like a brick wall, which I hope never happens again, but I know all too well now how these disorders work. They love to sneak up on you, play brain games, and turn your life upside down, usually when you're least expecting it or when you think you finally have a handle on it. *sigh*
It's Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too) by Nora McInernyWhile scrolling through Pinterest one day looking for memoirs on mental health, I came across this book. I immediately ordered it. I laughed and I cried and read it in just a few days. I couldn't put it down. I love the author's writing style, so "right up my alley" so to speak. Like her husband, my dad died of stage IV glioblastoma brain cancer. I could relate to a certain degree. My dad passed ten months after his diagnosis almost seven years ago. Did I ever think I would lose a parent in my early 30s? Never. Her story was inspiring and raw. She reminded me (and even kind of looks like) my high school BFF and coincidentally is from near where I grew up. I think she could be another BFF of mine, if we were ever to meet in person.
Wow, could I relate to the author's experiences in this book. There were so many "aha" moments, I am still trying to sift through them all. Again without going into detail (perhaps when I feel ready I will write more), I understand how childhood trauma can rewire (or wire) your brain. I have been doing a lot of research on PTSD, specifically complex PTSD, since becoming diagnosed a few months ago, not really understanding what it meant. My dad also had PTSD, but I am pretty sure that his was war-induced. Reflecting back though, I am pretty sure my dad struggled with anxiety and depression, possibly panic disorder, although I am sure he never sought help for it. If he did, I highly doubt anyone would ever know. Who can blame him either? I wouldn't have dared to let anyone know about my own anxiety and panic until a few years ago, so ashamed of being on medication since my early 20s. I asked my husband the other day how long we were together before I told him I was on anxiety meds...I am sure it was at a least a year. I asked my BFF when she knew, she said she distinctly remembers me telling her nonchalantly. It was that "shocking" that she remembers it. I look so strong and so confident everyone says....well that's just the daily armour I wear to protect myself.
There ware parts of this book that I am still digesting and just need some more time before I hit these demons head on in my own life. I am just not there yet. After reading this book, it has helped me immediately realize that my "quirks" are likely from PTSD and trauma. For example, my panic after hearing (and not expecting) a loud noise such as one of my kids screams, something crashing to the floor, etc.). Just today my daughter dropped the TV remote control on the wood floor. My heart rate immediately shot up, and it took several minutes before I felt "calm" again. I immediately yanked my head around in the direction of the sound and wanted to know what made it. I tend to "snap" when this happens reacting strongly. It is very odd....but now I am understanding that this is a symptom of complex PTSD. It is very different than say, having a near miss in a car accident, which actually happened yesterday to me.
The crazy thing about this book is that I owned this book about 13 years ago. I worked through it during a summer off from teaching when I was contemplating going off medication. My husband (then boyfriend) were together maybe two years. Sadly, during the summer of 2016, I was going through a "downsizing" phase where anything that I hadn't used in ten years was being purged. I had a cabinet with all sorts of photo albums, baby albums, etc and this book. It wasn't proudly displayed on my book shelves with all my other books, but it was safely stored at the back of a cabinet in my bedroom that hadn't been looked at since we moved into our house eight years prior. I honestly forgot all about it. I flipped through it rereading parts of my "previous self" or so I thought. Since I had written in it, I recycled the book thinking "I haven't needed it in ten years, so I won't need it again." Boy, was I wrong. I just found it at a second-hand bookstore so while I haven't begun working through it yet, I will be when I am ready.
This was a good book to read over Christmas Break going into the New Year! The author describes resolutions and goals that she sets for herself each month for one year. I admire her strength, courage, and commitment to herself and her family. The parts on family and marriage resonated with me the most. This book helped me identify some areas in my personal life, family life, and marriage that needed some tweaking.
Go A Memoir of Wanderlust and Anxiety by Sara Moss
I absolutely loved this book! While it's not necessarily a "self-help" book, it is the author's personal journey. Through several parts of the memoir, she describes physical symptoms (nausea, rapid heart beat, sweats) which I resonated with completely. I recognized the symptoms of anxiety. The adventures the author goes through is truly amazing! It reminded me a lot of my late teens and 20's...I had the same wanderlust mentality but also the anxiety that I didn't recognize as anxiety until my mid-20's.
I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" by Brené Brown
I've just started this one, and I cannot put it down! I am eagerly taking notes and jotting down my thoughts and feelings. I feel like this book (like her other one I read) will be very helpful.
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